I’ve seen that you liked my other articles (zombie vs ghost or zombie thoughts) , thank you for that! so Black Zombie asked me to write some more :). Here it is my piece on zombie training grounds. Enjoy!
OK, so the zombie apocalypse is getting closer every day now, but it’s clear that they just can’t attack us from the very first moment, they will need some extra time in order to train and master their unique weapons before they start attacking us in an attempt to rule the world (what else would they want?).
Any ideas on what they would need to train? Let’s try!
I know, you’re thinking now that in every movie you saw they were attacking from the very first moment. Yes, in movies this would work just fine but in real life things get a lot more complicated and one, as zombie, needs to be prepared and well-trained.
For example, even for a simple walk in a park you have to Google-it , Facebook-it, Pinterest-it and God knows what other things-it as you have to know who was there before and who is there right now, what kind of park it is, how far it is , what bus you need, what route should you take and so on.
So, where that magical place would be, where zombies could feel just like home, practicing their … whatever-it-is, sharpening their skills for Z Day and not being spotted by humans?
Well, it’s very simple to find that place! But before I unveil they solution I thought about let’s just have a look at what they need:
- It has to be a wide space, for their different skill training; also, we all know they’re not great with tight places
- It has to be virtually everywhere near humans, on every continent, in large urban areas or even remote areas
- Should be available all day, and possible all night so a 24/7 would be excellent
So, how about supermarkets?
Isn’t it true that most of us are just slow walking through miles of store drafts with an empty look just trying to get that only thing that we need?!
Isn’t it true that we constantly mumble at all those prices and quantities trying to see which is more affordable or a better deal for us?
Isn’t it true that we bump into each other and sometimes we just mumble something and go back to our endless search?
So, aren’t supermarkets just the perfect solution for a zombies workout and training place? They could be in there like forever and we’d probably never spot them!
What other places could be used for zombie training? On the streets at rush hour, graveyards (or maybe not) or tax offices? Share your solution with us :)!